By Brian Stevens | August 19, 2009 | 17 Comments |
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1) Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. – Winston Churchill

2) Always do sober what you said you‘d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway

3) You can‘t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. – Frank Zappa

4) I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra

5) I may be drunk, but in the morning i‘ll be sober and you‘ll still be ugly. – Winston Churchill,

6) Being half drunk is just another way of saying ‘your almost there. – Jarrod Conway

7) Give an Irishman lager for a month and he‘s a dead man. An Irishman‘s stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him. – Mark Twain

8) O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass! Names that should be on every infant‘s tongue. – C.V Calverley

9) Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication. – Lord Byron`

10) They who drink beer will think beer. -Washington Irving

11) Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -Dave Barry

12) When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henry Youngman

13) Work is the curse of the drinking -Oscar Wilde

14) He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato

15) If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. – Jack Handy

16) I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan

17) Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." – Al Bundy

18) Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin

19) I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working. – Dave Berry

20) A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her. – W.C. Fields

21) To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -Homer Simpson

22) "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. " – Humphrey Bogart

23) I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. -Abraham Lincoln

24) 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -Stephen Wright

25) One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn‘t live like the previous generation. It hasn‘t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer. -Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing

26) The roots and herbs beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengthen and quicken the sight of the eyes. -Nicholas Culpeper

27) Alright brain, I don‘t like you and you don‘t like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer. -Homer Simpson

28) Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn‘t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -Jack Handy

29) We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. -Martin Luther

30) "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let‘s all get drunk and go to heaven!" -Brian Burke

31) An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer. -Confucius

32) No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer. -John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough

32…33…50) . . . Suggestions? Please post your favorites


  • Awesome!!

    • Blakepoto
    • Beer Explorer
    • Sep 18, 2009

    "God, I'd give anything for a drink. I'd give my god-damned soul for just a glass of beer." - Jack Torrance THE SHINING [1980]

    • Blakepoto
    • Beer Explorer
    • Sep 18, 2009

    "We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy . . . he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer." - Red THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION [1994]

  • "“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”" -George Burns

    • Blakepoto
    • Beer Explorer
    • Dec 2, 2009

    "I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer. The future's uncertain and the end is always near."
    -Jim Morrison

  • Actually, I think you could have stopped at 22; that one is perfect!

  • "I heart beer...with my mouth" -The Girl from AKA Bianca

  • "I'm trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away."--Isaac Brock of the band Modest Mouse in "Polar Opposites"

  • "Beer can be a food, but food can't be a beer."--OKDitch

  • "In Wine There is Wisdom, In Beer There is Strength, In Water There is Bacteria." -Olde German Saying

    • adewin
    • Beer Novice
    • Feb 20, 2012

    There's no Beer in Heaven, that's why we drink it here - unknown

  • Save water, Drink Beer !!!

  • "The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but I will walk carefully."--Russian Proverb

  • @adewin: it's a song. "In heaven there is no beer/That's why we drink it here/And when we're gone from here/Our friends will drink all of our beer"

  • two more from WC Fields: "I don't drink water. It rusts pipes and fish make love in it." and "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"

  • "For an alcoholic, drinking is like dancing with a gorilla, the alcoholic may choose when it starts, but the gorilla chooses when to stop."

  • @Blakepoto, did ya know that according to the book, Jim Morrison, Life, Death, Legend, the original lyrics to that song were, "Woke up this mornin', got myself a BEARD."? Jim had woke up from a two or three week long drug induced coma and had grown a lot of facial hair haha. The lyrics were changed to beer after Alice Cooper's suggestion.

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